gamble

after a bout or two of anger (towards myself mostly) and a pity party or three... i had a great week of opening up my head, my heart, and seeing things clearer. i had some groovy friends, push me to talk about things instead of holding them in. addressing the pain, helped me to see how i got to where i was and that possibly the pain existed previous. i was trying to remedy it all in one place, which was not logical nor fair. "fair" i had lost in the fog. to use a metaphor.. when a gambler looses a lot, often times he places a big bet hoping to win it all back. this bet will either be his savior bet, or his demise.. of course he only sees a savior. good thing i dont gamble:)